I got married at the age of 18 when I got pregnant. My husband was taken to the army and I was left alone with my belly. I lived with my mother, but she told me right away:
– Do not even think about hanging a child on me, I work hard and I have no time to wash diapers.
And I was not going to leave my mother with the upbringing of my son, because since my father left us, she has been dragging our whole family. We decided to make a child, and now we have to take full responsibility for his upbringing. Of course, it was hard, my son was very tearful and did not sleep well. I didn’t sleep with him either. Days passed monotonously, I either fed him, or washed him, or put him to bed.
I remember how sleepy I was standing in line for bread, everyone swearing, pushing, shouting. The years were hard, money was pennies. My mother and son did not help me at all, because they were tired coming back from work. I even closed all the doors at night so that the child would not disturb her sleep.
Then, my husband returned from the army, but we immediately broke up. Our feelings could not stand such distance. Later, I met my second husband and went to live with him. I did not force him to raise my son, but they became friends and often spent time together.
My son has already grown up and got married. Recently they had a granddaughter and you know, now I understand my mother. At the age of 50 it is very difficult to play with children, you just want to relax or go somewhere.
They lived in the next house, because they did not want to be in the same apartment with us. And rightly so, I do not like two housewives in one kitchen. Later, these requests began: “Mom, sit with your granddaughter”. From the very beginning, I was happy to do all this, but they have already completely climbed on my head!
When I started to refuse, there were insults:
– “You are a grandmother! You should ask to sit with your granddaughter yourself. You could take her to yourself.
– Dear children, I did not give birth to her and did not ask for grandchildren. On the contrary, I told you to live for yourselves and then think about children. I do not have to raise her for you now.
– Other grandmothers do not say that, they gladly give all their time to children! How can you do that?
– I, in my time, raised you myself and did not ask my grandmother to help. Understand, I no longer have the energy and strength that I had 30 years ago. I can not sit with children for a long time.
– They say rightly, the apple does not fall far from the tree. Do we have to hire a nanny while grandma is still alive? Aren’t you ashamed? – my son said to me.
– No, I am not ashamed!
As you understand, our relations are not the best now. But I want to appeal to all children and say that parents should not sit with your children. It was your decision. Do not impose on us the idea that we have to love our grandchildren and give them all our time. We love them anyway, but none of us is obliged to become a free babysitter.
