My husband and I met when I was 23 years old, and he is 10 years older. My husband seemed to me to be an adult, successful, independent, and strong man. But even before the wedding there were the first bells, which I wrote off as pre-wedding excitement. And it turned out that for nothing. My husband then showed aggression, he called me stupid, just because I do not want his brother to sometimes spend the night at our place after work. For me it was unacceptable, I do not want to live in a threesome with a strange man just because he works until dark and he has to drive 20 minutes longer from us.
After the wedding there was another fight. We had to go to my parents’ house for a visit after work, we discussed everything beforehand, it took two hours to get there. And then his brother urgently asked my husband to move his girlfriend’s things from one end of town to the other. We changed plans for the day, and he drove, I arrived and waited for him near the subway. This place is pretty complicated, there are 3 or 4 intersections that are similar to each other. In the dark I came to the wrong stop, he was looking for me and I couldn’t find him. When he found me, I received a barrage of insults to me for it. I told him that we actually had plans and he had changed them himself for his brother and his girlfriend, so I got lost in a strange place and was left feeling guilty.
Then a few months before their wedding, he told me that my wishes would have to wait and he would buy my brother an apartment first because that was more important. That day I stopped subconsciously trusting him. Why did my husband buy the apartment himself and pay it off even before marriage, saving and cutting back on everything, while his brother lived differently? He had seen the world, traveled a lot, lived for his own pleasure, and brought his wife to live where he himself lived – with his wife’s cousins. He promised it would be like this until they got married, but they’ve been living together for 5 years and now they travel everywhere together and have a life of their own pleasure.
I had a baby, I do not know how it happened that I still, despite those cases, went for it, probably because I was very much in love, and he cried, promised that it would not be so. And now my husband has risen, began to earn very well, and I still could not trust him.
I don’t know how to live, I live with these thoughts, with the thought that he will cheat on me and that’s it. That maybe at this point he is already doing something for him. My mother-in-law also did not accept me, although I did not do anything to her, but apparently, she did not want her son to live his life, to invest in his family.
I can no longer, I feel betrayed, unnecessary and unnecessary to him. Although he now says he understands everything and asks me not to leave him. But I feel that a couple more steps like this and I will do it.
To leave or not to leave my husband? This is the question I have been asking myself for a year.
