My husband has very little contact with his parents and his sister. And now he is very unhappy that I have a lot of contact with my parents.
My husband says we have our own family and our parents are not part of that family. I understand that he has a right to treat his parents that way. But why should I treat my parents that way too?
My husband grew up in a very interesting family. His parents don’t drink, but I can’t call their family normal. His own father left their family when Brian was only two years old. His mother lived on her own for a few years, raising Brian on her own. And then she married for the second time and had a child together – a girl Alice.
My husband tells me that no one ever took care of his sister or him. They grew up as if by themselves. Their parents just took care of them, but never hugged or kissed them, never had a heart-to-heart talk with them. It was as if the parents were just doing their parental duties. My husband left his parents’ house right after he graduated from high school and he doesn’t want to communicate with his parents anymore.
The best part is that they weren’t at our wedding. Although my husband invited them and they did not congratulate us on such an important event. I understand that my husband may have a bad relationship with his stepfather. But how can you have a bad relationship with your own mother? And my husband once admitted to me that his mother didn’t even come and see him off to the army. I don’t understand how you can treat your own child like that.
I have a wonderful relationship with my parents. They are always involved in my life, they know everything about me. They have always helped me through setbacks and have been very genuinely happy when I have been successful at something. They always supported me in everything and gave me good advice. They were always with me in my most important moments.
I have been married for three years and live separately, but I know how they are, what problems they have. And they know everything about me, too. I try to visit them often and invite them to my place.
My parents like my husband very much. But I realized that my husband is very uncomfortable when we come to visit my parents. I thought that over time he would get used to it and things would get better. But lately he keeps finding excuses not to come with me to visit my parents.
I do not mind, I do not force him to come with me. I go to see them myself now. But lately Brian has been reproaching me for acting like a little kid who can’t live without his parents.
– Why do you go to your parents so often? You have me now, and you don’t need anyone else! You shouldn’t go to your parents so often!
I was just shocked when I heard that. My mom doesn’t interfere in our life at all, and neither does my dad. They never scold my son-in-law or give me any advice. When I come home from my parents, I behave calmly and don’t make a scandal. And now we’re always fighting about it with Brian.
I think he’s just jealous of the good relationship I have with my parents. I do not know how to help him, but I still will not refuse to communicate with my parents.
Now I don’t even know if I should have a baby with Brian. What if he will forbid my parents to see our baby? My parents won’t survive that for sure. They will be very offended and will be very worried about it.
