I left my husband (a binge drinker) and my two children and left the big city for my mother’s village. I was financially dependent on my husband, and now I am dependent on my mother.
I will soon be 40 years old. I have arms, legs and good looks. That’s just a problem with self-confidence is very big. My husband humiliated me, insulted and behaved aggressively after all the binges and blamed me for everything. Now my mother and him have agreed behind my back that he will take me back to his big city, on the condition that I get a full-time job and buy groceries. My husband said he didn’t have to feed me.
I have a hopelessness. There are no jobs here in the village, and I can’t get a job in the city. I can’t be a salesman! I am creative and romantic.
We’ve been hating each other for a long time now, and the children can see it all. I wanted to leave them to my husband, but I am not a cuckoo! I am trampled and humiliated, I just don’t exist. How do I pull myself together and live with him? Why does he take such pleasure in humiliating me? Why? He smiles at this, when he brings me to tears, calls my mother and tells her that I did not cook and clean for him. How insulting it is that I tried, I put my heart and soul into it! Why is he doing this to me? And my mother is a traitor, she told me to be patient. Now he knows I’m alone, and no one can protect me. How can I go back to him, knowing that I am completely defenseless?
The main reason I need to go back is that the children have to go to a city school, which is considered prestigious, and which my husband has long sought. I am nobody and nobody needs me. He was right. I really need a man who will believe in me, support me, and say, “you can do it, I believe in you!”
My husband doesn’t love me. Divorced for 8 years on my own initiative. Several times I went to my mother to live with my children because of his drinking. He has no respect for me.
Why am I so weak-willed? Help me, please!
