When I got the weird feeling that my boyfriend was cheating on me, I thought about getting into his laptop or phone. And then I realized that that way I would have stooped to his level, and I could do better. So here’s what I did:
1. I paid more attention to what he was saying.
Sometimes cheaters blabber on their own, and so did he. It was a small thing, but I noticed. For example, one day he said he was going to work on Sunday, and a week later he said he was out with a friend that day.
2. I noticed a change in his correspondence.
He used to write me a lot. We liked to correspond, but when he started cheating on me, everything changed. He didn’t tell me much, he didn’t reply to my messages for a long time – it wasn’t like him.
3. I went out with his friends.
I knew that the more time I spent with his friends, the more answers I would get. Not only did they sometimes say unnecessary things, but just from their interactions I could see that something was wrong. For example, my boyfriend bought himself a new laptop. His friend asked where he had put the old one, even though he said he had given it to a friend. Anyway, I realized that apparently his old laptop went to another woman.
4. I paid attention to his appearance.
He started paying more attention to his appearance, he started buying new clothes and getting haircuts. And he obviously did not dress up like that for me.
5. I started asking more about his work.
And I found out that he had a new colleague that he had never talked about before. That’s when I realized there was probably more between them. When I asked about her, he would get a little worried.
6. He started doing things he wasn’t used to doing.
He suddenly changed the passwords on his credit cards. He wanted to buy a summer house. He wanted to go out with friends more often or take up a new hobby. He was changing too much, apparently because another woman was influencing him.
7. He stopped noticing me.
While I was paying more attention to his words and behavior, he was paying less attention to me. He stopped noticing, for example, that I was crying. I began to feel less love from him. It didn’t matter anymore if he had another woman or not. He just didn’t love me anymore.
8. I called some people.
When he said he had to go to work on his day off, I would just call his coworkers and ask if he was in the office. Naturally, he wasn’t. Likewise, I called his friend, whom he had supposedly gone to a sleepover and disappeared for two days. The friend was also surprised that he should be at his place.
9. He changed in bed.
He had new poses and movements. But at the same time, I felt less emotional intimacy.
10. He never left his phone unattended.
He took it with him to the bathroom and shower. He told me not to answer it if he got a call. He locked it and wouldn’t even let me call when my phone went dead.
11 My intuition kept bothering me.
I tried to tell myself that I was just winding myself up, but the feeling wouldn’t go away. I ended up dumping him, which is the best thing I could have done for myself.
