I am 26 years old and my husband is 25. We have been living together for 5 years, we have a son together. We were living happily, everything was fine, even very fine (as it seemed to me) until the thunder came out of the blue.
Last year we had a lot of conflicts, especially in everyday life, mostly trifles, but the quarrels were such as if something really big happened, my husband packed up and went to his parents. Conventionally we did not live together for six months, he had boozing, partying, a lot of new acquaintances, which God knows how these acquaintances ended. He often showed up during this period.
I had a long depression, psychologists, pills, binges. In the middle of summer I was in a relationship with a great guy, my husband noticed flowers, candy and fruit for the baby when he came to visit. It annoyed him a lot. Then he gives me bouquets, then something twitched him, and he came and offered to live again, that he realized everything. I agreed, dear man to me. In the end the idea was bad, it did not work out. He went to work and then, a month later, I found out that he had my girlfriend for three years and they have a child together.
I will not describe the circumstances under which this was found out, but he told me himself when he drank, laughing in my eyes, then throwing himself on my neck and crying. He didn’t want the baby, and she wouldn’t have an abortion because she had health problems and there was a one-in-a-hundred chance of giving birth. They often came to visit us with the baby, etc., I already felt they were having an affair, but my psyche refused to believe it.
Again a breakdown, psychologists, pills, no more binges. Six months of feuding and insulting each other, lots of new news, his pride and sense of ownership towards me. My friend must have been happy for a long time, that it was possible to be with my man openly, she kept writing to me and inviting me to go on vacation. I went to work, I earned good money, got into a rut, and after two months he came from her in the middle of the day, began to ask for forgiveness, swear that all understood and realized, and I forgave. Apparently from his own boredom, or to humiliate himself finally, so as not to feel any more pain in his next departure.
We lived again for six months, I find out about cheating with her again. We also didn’t communicate for a while and then started again. All this no longer surprises me, about his deed speaks directly, does not repent, does not ask forgiveness and does not say words, only cries.
He left again, the situation is difficult, there is no work now, I do not feel a strong attraction to him, as before, but I can not let go, co-dependence.
How can I get out of this dependence? I know for sure that nothing good will come out of it, and he will not change (probably, like me) for our family. He’s gone, but he still talks about us in the context of family, that he needs some kind of break to fix the relationship.
How to end it all?
