I recently had an unpleasant experience.
I am 30 years old, married, no children yet, unfortunately. I have been working for 6 years in the same team. There are three girls in the office. We seemed to be all friendly, constantly treating each other to something, never quarreled, often poured out his heart, gave advice to each other. We were not really friends, but not strangers, because we were together 5 days a week for 9 hours a day, you know.
But I have always noticed that my colleagues are more friendly with each other. They have grown up children, they have constant quarrels with their husbands, they are both “superwives”, I didn’t fit in because I don’t have children, and I have never complained about my husband in front of them. Once, when each of them complained about her husband, and I kept quiet, they said to me, “Why are you silent? Everything is perfect? When it’s perfect, it’s not a family.” To which I replied, “Who says it’s perfect? We fight sometimes, like everyone else. I just do not even my best friend best friend will not tell any nasty things about her husband. Moreover, if we lived 10 years without children somehow, we are together well, then not everything is bad, and in general it’s not their business.
And here is the actual trouble. At work I had to use a tape recorder, and ironically I forgot to turn it off. At the weekend I found a suspiciously long audio recording. I turned it on, played it back, and what did you think? Apparently, as soon as I left the office my two “girlfriends” began to discuss my personal, family problems, to create some theories. You know, as they say, if it’s not all clear, then make up. And one of them, whom I trusted the most and shared problems, just reported to the other all that I did, said. They discussed me and my husband and my whole family in a rather rude manner.
When I heard that, I was just shocked! Yes, I knew what they were saying about me behind my back. But knowing is one thing and hearing it in person is brutal. And I want to point out that there are three of us, but in so many years of work, I have never discussed the second one with one of them. Because I knew that it could then come back to me. And they talk about me for every little thing.
How do I go to work and further communicate with them, looking them in the eye, if I even look at them disgusted? And just come and do their work, do not communicate for a long time, it does not work. How can I survive in such a toxic team, knowing that I am being discussed like this?
