I save money secretly from my husband while I’m married.
As you can imagine, there is no single answer in the spirit of “right” or “wrong. Why not? Because we are all human beings and we all have different situations.
My position is as follows – my husband, a man of attitude. He has a business and his income is fickle. That is, today it can be thick, and tomorrow it is empty. My husband works alone. He gives me money for personal expenses, plus I earn some from my hobby. I used to spend it all to nothing. Now I save most of it, because I don’t want to feel dependent on my husband when we fight and he starts manipulating the money.
After the first such scandal, I still had doubts: to save or not to save, and when the quarrels began to recur, and the manipulation continued, without a safety cushion I began to feel just naked. As a result, her husband cools down and everything goes back to normal. But at some point it may not come back. And then, after a quarrel, he is as if from the shoulder: “well, okay, go buy something tasty. He gives me the money anyway. But this very moment is particularly distasteful to me. I understand that if something suddenly happens, I have nothing and can not live even one day.
Why am I saving in secret from him? It’s not really a great secret. I just didn’t tell him about it at the time, and now I don’t really want to open my cards. But in moments of quarrels, I began to build myself a chain of terrible events about how I and my son (we have another child) will die, die of hunger, and so on. Therefore, such a measure (piggy bank) helps me to be less nervous and thanks to it I do not paint a terrible picture of the horrible future.
I really think there is nothing wrong with saving the money you earned yourself or gave your husband for personal expenses. A wife does not cheat her husband and take money from him for groceries, for example, and then save it herself. Personal spending money is personal spending money because it is the wife’s responsibility to spend it herself. If she wants, she spends it all, and if she wants, she saves it.
Now I am wondering how to prepare my husband in principle, so that he would not be offended and understand that he himself provoked my such moods, his manipulations.
